her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
