I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
he's single and there are thong briefs.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
