Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
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