another moral hangover. fuck.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
