I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
All the doctor said was why
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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