Heybabeimwearingurpanties
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Text me some of your sweat
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
