looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
