In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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