Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Randomize
