We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Randomize
