Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Randomize
