Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
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