Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
All I want is dick and wine.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
