I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
