I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
false alarm. still invincible.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
