Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Randomize
