dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
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