he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
