She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
oh god was she eating orange peels again
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
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