Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Randomize
