I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
