Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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