my vag is so smooth its legendary
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Randomize
