I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
