there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
