Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize
