wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
