I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
