and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
