saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
