White coat. Heels.
Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
