I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
