My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
Did you just see the Batmobile???
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
