if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
