I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Porn is love you can see.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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