You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Randomize