Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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