I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
