There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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