So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
