Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
