I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
