dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
