The maid of honor just puked.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
false alarm. still invincible.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Randomize
