i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Just high enough for therapy.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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