Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
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