I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
