he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Randomize
