pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
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