Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize
