I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
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