how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
North Korea, Best Korea!
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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