On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Do vagina's smell?
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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