Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
